Petaluma Wine Institute vs.The Petaluma Gap


The officers & staff of The Internationale Instituto De Vino Wino (La Centre de l’Experience du Vin de Petaluma) have been in an absolute tizzy about all the talk about The Petaluma Gap Winegrower’s Alliance. Recently, they held  an emergency meeting at the Instituto to discuss the Petaluma Gap.

Just to assure the public, their parole officers were keeping close watch on them.

What follows is a partial transcript of the meeting…


Jerry Attrick–Senior Citizen Wine Consultant:  Hey, did you guys see the latest blog from Frances Rivetti? (Click Here)

Enchy Latta—Director of Catering: No, what’s she talking about now?

Jerry Attrick: The Petaluma Gap Winegrower’s Alliance.

Enchy Latta: So what’s so special ’bout them? They’re no competition for the Instituto!

Frank–Chief Wino &  Solo Vine Manager (We have only one vine root): Wake up, Enchy! They’re for real.  You–and everyone in this room–are fictional characters. They make real wine. You only make and drink fictional wine. If I decide to quit drinking, you’ll all cease to exist!

Jerry Attrick: Quick, get Frank another glass of wine!!

Al Fresco–Restaurant Manager: Well, we may be fictional but business is down and we need to do something to compete with Rivetti and her Petaluma Gap conspirators!!!

Marthe Stuarda–Director of Protocol & Arbiter of Taste: You’re right Al. We need to close the Gap!! We need a Gap of our own!!

Sumo Cum Laude “Big Fish” Sashimi–Insituto Bouncer: How about the Petaluma Street Gap?…

Pet Pothole

Frank: Don’t be ridiculous! I just checked on our solo vine root and found the appellation solution!

It’s obvious!

The Instituto’s new appellation will be…CRACKED ADOBE GAP!!Petaluma Gap 002Petaluma Gap 004

Sushi Tira-Misu–Food Director:  Super name! I’ll start work on the new menus!!


Instituto Special Report–Bottleless Wine!

The Internationale Instituto De Vino Wino proudly announces the results of years of research and development.

We have been following the work of  several wineries to do away with corks and to convince winos to buy wine with screw caps.  They have solid scientific evidence to support their position that screw caps are as good as, if not better than, corks.  Granted it will take some persuasion to convince people not to associate screw caps with “Thunderbird” or “Old Nauvoo Red.”

But we have taken vino  innovation  a step further.

Our Winos demand cutting edge innovation!

So the Instituto is proud to announce that our wines will be distributed with screw caps at $23.49 a bottle.

What makes our new screw cap wine so unique?







Bottleless Wine!!

In fact, there is no container whatsoever!!!

Just the screw cap!!

Imagine the “Bottle(less) Shock” as new customers check out the display.

So…………….Bring Your Own Bottle (BYOB) or Bring Your Own Glass (BYOG)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember to wash your hands!

The Officers & Staff of Petaluma’s Internationale Instituto De Vino Wino

We at the Instituto are working  24/7 to make you a better wino!!